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Article:
Here s What Dating Experts Really Think. | HuffPost Life
“These influencers are grasping for a set of rules to apply in a world they were not raised to understand. ",
We Dug Up Stephen Miller's Dubious Dating Advice — And Relationship Experts Say It's Telling.
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Earlier this week, the wife of President Donald Trump’s deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller revived an old joke about her husband on Fox News — and now we all need to think about their relationship for longer than we’d like. In the segment, Katie Miller shared how her “sexual matador” (ick) of a husband “gets [her] going” with morning speeches about defeating the left, offering a rare glimpse into the couple’s dynamic. And, as it turns out, her husband previously doled out his own dating advice on “Jesse Watters Primetime” in 2024, when he first earned himself that cringe “matador” label. Advertisement. “Well, let me give advice to any young man that’s out there. I’m married now, I have children. But I wasn’t married that long ago, I was single, I was on the market,” Miller said, per The Independent . “If you are a young man — it’s very important in election season — who’s looking to impress the ladies, to be the alpha, to be attractive . The best thing you can do is wear your Trump support on your sleeve.” Illustration: Kelly Caminero/HuffPost, Photo: Getty Images. Stephen Miller previously gave his romantic advice to single men on Fox News in 2024. “Show that you are a real man,” he continued. “Show that you are not a beta. Right? Be a proud and loud Trump supporter and your dating life will be fantastic.” Advertisement. The bit on supporting Trump isn’t too hard to debunk. After all, a recent American Enterprise Institute survey found that nearly three-quarters of college-educated women — and 52% of the total single women surveyed — say they would be less likely to date a Trump supporter. Another 2024 survey from dating app Coffee Meets Bagel found that 4 out of 5 women would not date someone who supports Trump. And some folks on dating apps are even hiding their true politics to avoid being dumped over Trump. But it’s that other part — ”be an alpha” — that we couldn’t help but poke at a little more. Miller’s real-ish attempt at advice for single young men is something anyone scrolling past manosphere content creators in recent years will find familiar. So we had to get dating and romance experts’ thoughts on just how far anyone should run with Miller’s advice — and what alternatives they’d actually recommend. Advertisement. The ABCs Of Alpha Males. This fantasy of the “alpha” man is ubiquitous in the larger culture of the manosphere — suggesting that to be desirable, men need to embody a very specific, if reductive, kind of masculinity that aggressively asserts dominance over others (most often women and “beta” men). The traits most associated with being an “alpha” in extremely online human circles include: a lack of vulnerability and deprioritization of emotional connection, obsession with financial success, a rigid (if deeply unimaginative) pecking order of attractiveness and cruelty toward those who don’t adhere to it and a distrust or outright dislike of women and their autonomy. Shockingly, the dating experts HuffPost spoke with don’t necessarily see these behaviors as conducive to building healthy, equitable partnerships between so-called “alphas” and the people they claim to want to date. Advertisement.
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