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Learn about the characteristics that define emotional intelligence and maturity in relationships. 13 Signs Of An Emotionally Mature Man. Vishnu Subramaniam is a writer, coach, and author of nine self published books, including The Sacred Art of Letting Go.

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March 03, 2016. Growing up in an Indian family and conservative culture, I learned unhealthy emotional habits. As a young man, I learned to suppress my feelings, to be a tough guy, a stoic, a soldier. We encourage this way of being, so we raise men who are emotionally divided from everyone else in their lives. They are incapable of vulnerability and intimacy, which perpetuates our culture of commitment-phobia and the death of the nuclear family. The good news? It doesn't have to be this way. You can change. You can become emotionally stronger. You can be more open and vulnerable. This isn’t a game, and you’re not losing. Here are 13 signs of emotional maturity (and goals to aim for if you want to reach it): 1. Acceptance of feelings. Emotionally mature men don’t hide from, resist, or suppress their feelings. Instead, they welcome their feelings, which ebb and flow naturally. Discomfort is a great teacher. Once you’ve fully experienced the intensity of uncomfortable feelings like pain or sadness, they will naturally ebb. Your feelings won’t kill you. But running from them will cause your discomfort to endure even longer. 2. Awareness of harmful patterns. When life events trigger an undesirable emotional response in you, you can acknowledge and deal with the response or try to ignore it, which tends to result in anger (fight) or self-protective distancing (flight). Accepting discomfort as a natural state is how you begin to uncover self-sabotaging patterns and learn to manage your responses to triggering situations. 3. Striving to become more emotionally mature. If you’re reading this article, you’re open to self-reflection on some level. If you're curious about this world of emotions and feelings, you’re moving toward emotional maturity with intention. You have to be willing to move into the unknown, into vulnerability. Instead of avoiding feelings or running away from them, commit to welcoming them, feeling them, and working through them. 4. Openness to learning and growth. If you choose to remain in your old patterns once you recognize that they're unhealthy, you will continue to experience the same problems. If, instead, you see this as a way to become a better person, you can begin to take the necessary risk of being more open to feelings and emotions. This leads to increased maturity, stronger relationships, and a more fulfilling life. 5. Open communication of their feelings. Once you accept and invite your feelings in, you might not know what to do with them. It can be overwhelming. Try journaling or discussing your feelings with someone you trust.













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