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Here Are Mistakes To Avoid. | HuffPost Life
Younger people may think the text “OK” (or worse, “K”) is a sign you’re angry with them, for example. Do You Text Your Grandkids?

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Read This Before Accidentally Making A Big Mistake. Younger people may think the text “OK” (or worse, “K”) is a sign you’re angry with them, for example. On Assignment For HuffPost. Mar 13, 2023, 05:45 AM EDT. LEAVE A COMMENT. MoMo Productions via Getty Images. My friends and I all know the unspoken rule of texting: Every message needs an exclamation point, emoji or other indicator you’re not mad. Also, “okay!” needs to be typed as “okay!” — not “OK” or “okay” or, worst of all, “k.” (If you’re going to type it like that, just say you hate me!) After all, a lot can be left unsaid with just a few letters, such as texting “LOL” in an unfunny situation . This understanding isn’t just among my circle, either: According to an internet linguist, replying “OK” (especially in a work chat setting) can feel aggressive . Advertisement. But I realized not everyone knows this unspoken rule. While it’s common for people in my generational range — I consider myself a “zilliennial,” born between millennials and Gen Z — many older folks don’t always know how worrisome a “K” text makes us feel. So let’s talk about it. Why is there a generational divide with texting? Where did it come from, and how can we communicate with loved ones in a more clear way? While the explanations won’t go for every person — I have family members who text as if they’re generations younger than they are, for example — therapists share the psychology behind this phenomenon. Younger generations typically need extra conversational signals. We can’t ask this question without asking another one: Where do we learn these social norms, the ones that differ by generation, to some extent? Several factors can be at play. “If we’re looking at where we learn the social norms of texting, that is probably heavily influenced by our peers and media, which we know, when we’re young, tends to heavily influence us,” said Nicholette Leanza , a therapist with LifeStance Health . Advertisement. Maureen Coyle , an associate psychology professor at Widener University who researches and specializes in social media communication, also pointed to the fact that younger generations are more apt to text. “Because texting is a more default mode of communication for younger generations, younger generations have created much more nuanced norms about it than older generations,” she said. But what are the messages we receive from those norms, and how do they differ by generation? Younger people tend to think a short message means someone is ‘being short’ with them. Signals of how you feel — an emoji, longer message, etc. — can feel like a safety blanket. “I think it’s for emotional assurance,” Leanza said. “Research has shown that Gen Z is the most anxious generation … so they may look at every detail of a text to interpret its meaning. If a text seems too short or clipped without an ‘LOL,’ they may interpret that as the sender being angry or upset with them because, generally, when we speak our words when we’re angry, we tend to be clipped with them as well.” To some degree, it’s misconstruing effort with intention. “For example, sending a ‘k’ text requires the smallest amount of effort … and can be perceived by the receiver as ‘I must not be worth the effort of a longer message to them, so they must be upset with me,’” Coyle explained. They may also assume the sender doesn’t want to talk anymore, she added. Advertisement. And that’s an understandable and valid concern. You may have noticed this when you felt angry and wanted to get a message across without any fluff, avoiding extraneous punctuation or images. “Come to think of it, people typically don’t use such symbols when they are angry,” said Linda Whiteside, a lead clinical counselor at NuView Treatment Center in Los Angeles . “It is easier to infer that a particular message with exclamation points, emojis and other expressions is meant to convey a positive message.” Texts also lack other conversational signals.













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